//Chapter 1: This little gal

This little gal sits beside me at the bar. She looks great and terrible, all at the same time. Naturally, she looks great. This dame is attractive as Hell. Long, straight, auburn hair that hangs over her eyes. She keeps brushing it out of her face with her thin, long fingers and I am aware that it's an absent-minded gesture. I'm sure she don't even think about it anymore, but it really makes me keep looking into her eyes. I am drawn in and can't resist their pull.

And she's quietly explaining something that's very important to her, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. Somethin' sad, I bet.
And she's smoking a cigarette. It dances across her thin, little knuckles.

And she's wearing something, this blouse. Lingerie, it must be. All spaghetti straps and bare shoulders. I can see every bit of her long, white neck, dissapearing into the shadowy recess of her cleavage and I realize that I'm now looking down her shirt and I look back up at her and try to remember what she's talking about. So much bare skin. All of it pointing my attention right back down her shirt.

I look back up at her lovely face, her pouty lips and she brushes her hair from her face and we make eye contact and I'm drawn back into her, all over again.

As good as she looks to me, she also looks like a drowned puppydog. A real frail, she is. All of her faces soft edges are drawn down and I can tell from the redness around her eyes that she's been at the waterworks over somethin'. Such a pretty girl, to have wasted so much time, cryin' the days away.

In a little bit, the words that she's saying, this whole time, begin to form a thought, a story, a through-line and I realize that she's not chatting me up, at all. She's going on and on about some other guy who broke her heart. Some other jake. Some dummy who has broken her heart and maybe even slapped her around a bit. A real jerk, this fella. I don't even know who this guy is, but here his woman is, sitting in my bar, bending my ear, rambling on and on about him. And not in a way that indicates that she's left him. She wants him back, and in a bad way.

It hits me that I'm not goin' home and pitchin' woo with her again, tonight. And whatever we shared, rollin' around the floor and knockin' her makeup table up against the wall, is over. Dead and gone and fadin' like an old man's dreams. Like her cigarette smoke, trailing up and away into nowhere.

I chuckle, when I realize that I've been trying to buy something that she ain't sellin'. Not to me, anyways. I take a swig off my drink and look at her in a way that lets her know that I'm about to speak. She trails off what she was saying and puts her hand on my knee, to let me know that she's ready to listen to what I have to say.

"Look, kitten, this has been a treat. A real treat. But, I think I'm done, here," I says.

She looks hurt, like I slapped here. How could she not have seen this comin'? She pulls back her hand, like I've bitten it.

"You've been going on and on about this guy, this schmoe, this square, this bum. And about how bad you feel and how lonely and how love never finds it's way to your front door and I've listened to about as much as I can stand." I reach into my pocket and pull out a sawbuck for my bartender and slap it on the bar. At least, HE should get some satisfaction, tonight.

"And the whole time you've been running on and on, I've been sittin' here the whole time. Waitin' for you to figure out that I was crazy for you, kid. Head over heels. The real deal!"

"I know I'm not the most handsome guy on the block. This ugly face of mine could stop a train in it's tracks. And I'm sure your new fella' is a real swell guy. A real catch, in the looks department. Even though he roughs you up a bit. But I'm strong as Samson and I know how to treat a woman tender. You oughta know that by now. As many times as we been together. As many times as I took you where you wanted to go."

"But more important than all of that, I would've backed your play until the ends of the earth, kiddo. And you can count on that. I would've been there for you, to protect you and keep you safe. You'd sleep well at night, with me there next to you."

"You think you're all alone? Well, you are now. You didn't used to be. You used ta have me. And you didn't even know it. Such a goddamn waste, it was."

I stand up, grab my hat and put it on, ready to pull my coat tight and dust out to face the Chicago downpour that I know's happening outside. I can feel the same thing happening in my heart. I throw back the last of my cocktail and slide the glass down to Sammy, who shoots me a look and looks away from what he knows I must be sayin' to her. Beside me, this little gal is dumbstruck. She don't even think to ash her cigarette and it needs it too!

"I put your drink on my tab. When you finish it, get outta here and never come back. I got no time for you, sister. Here's a buck for the hack. Take it back to your new joe. And if that don't work out, go home and cry to yer mama. But whatever you do, don't come back in here, see? Because you've got a sad song to sing and I'm tired of hearin' it. That's all."

As I leave the bar, I can hear that somebody just started playin' Coltrane on the jukeybox. "Autumn Leaves" the song is called. Just rip my heart out and shoot a bullet in it, why dontcha?



The Broken Jade Gambit: A Calvin Mann Mystery continues in Chapter 2: A Couple of Dummies! Read it here!